Table 1

 Script from the American Legacy Foundation’s truth campaign’s “Dog Urine Ad”

Source: Lorillard Tobacco Company v. American Legacy Foundation and Arnold Worldwide, Inc. Draft Complaint, 2001.
[Telephone rings]
Lorillard Operator: Good afternoon, Lorillard.
“John”: Hello ma’am. My name is John. I was hoping I could talk to someone about a business idea I think your company might benefit from.
Lorillard Operator: What is…What is the…What is the nature of the business, though?
“John”: Oh, I’m glad you asked. I am a professional dog walker by trade and…and my dogs, well, they pee a lot, usually on, like, fire hydrants and people’s flowerbeds. I thought that’s a total waste of quality dog urine and why not collect it and…and sell to it to you tobacco people.
Lorillard Operator: Hmm.
“John”: Well, you see, dog pee is full of urea. And that’s one of the chemicals you guys put into cigarettes, and I was just hoping to make a little extra spending cash, you know, under the table. You know what I’m saying?
Lorillard Operator: Let me connect you with the consumer department.
“John”: I…I can send you some samples. Let’s see, I got Chihuahua, Golden Retriever. I got some high-test Rottweiler pee. And it’s all good stuff.
Lorillard Operator: Hold on.
Lorillard Employee: Mike Loy.
“John”: Hello sir. My name is John. I have a business idea…a pee proposal.
[Telephone hung up]
[Telephone signal]
Announcer: You have reached truth.