Script from the American Legacy Foundation’s truth campaign’s “Dog Urine Ad”
| Source: Lorillard Tobacco Company v. American Legacy Foundation and Arnold Worldwide, Inc. Draft Complaint, 2001. |
| [Telephone rings] |
| Lorillard Operator: Good afternoon, Lorillard. |
| “John”: Hello ma’am. My name is John. I was hoping I could talk to someone about a business idea I think your company might benefit from. |
| Lorillard Operator: What is…What is the…What is the nature of the business, though? |
| “John”: Oh, I’m glad you asked. I am a professional dog walker by trade and…and my dogs, well, they pee a lot, usually on, like, fire hydrants and people’s flowerbeds. I thought that’s a total waste of quality dog urine and why not collect it and…and sell to it to you tobacco people. |
| Lorillard Operator: Hmm. |
| “John”: Well, you see, dog pee is full of urea. And that’s one of the chemicals you guys put into cigarettes, and I was just hoping to make a little extra spending cash, you know, under the table. You know what I’m saying? |
| Lorillard Operator: Let me connect you with the consumer department. |
| “John”: I…I can send you some samples. Let’s see, I got Chihuahua, Golden Retriever. I got some high-test Rottweiler pee. And it’s all good stuff. |
| Lorillard Operator: Hold on. |
| Lorillard Employee: Mike Loy. |
| “John”: Hello sir. My name is John. I have a business idea…a pee proposal. |
| [Telephone hung up] |
| [Telephone signal] |
| Announcer: You have reached truth. |